How Non-Conformity Hinders Your Success in Society?

What is success to you?

Is it hundreds and thousands in your bank account? Is it seeing your kids off to the college you dreamt of for yourself? Is it buying your parents a new house?

Or better yet, is it just being… happy?

What if you’re told that success in these facets is directly related to factors that have nothing to do with the journey?

What if paying your due diligence to society is the only way to succeed in your endeavors? Does that make you claustrophobic? Let’s find out why.

Paying your debts

Douglas Bell’s new novel, Cakewalk, depicts the hardships of our divorced and successful protagonist, Bryan, closeting his relationship from his mother.

Now that is one situation you can’t call “a piece of cake.”

Bryan’s success followed a promotion that deemed him fit to face the world. That’s how our society operates, right?

Forget E=Mc2; we might have just cracked the code to make it in the world. Succes=Conformity

For Bryan to achieve that level of success had to be agreeable. Among the “Yes, sirs” and “Absolutely, ma’am’s,” much like Bryan, we cage our true selves just because it is something the world wouldn’t understand.

How many people in today’s day and age consider throwing away their entire livelihood? Perhaps an easier option than embracing their true selves.

Homophobia, sexism, and fascism are commonly featured in today’s workplaces. To steer yourself away from harassment and discrimination, the only way that seems fit beside a long battle consulting human resources is to remain quiet and conform to the social structures in which you have no say.

You decide to please the world at the expense of your happiness since the day you were born. You are taught to dress how your parents decide to dress you. You go to the same school as your cousins, so you don’t “fall behind….”

Was it you who was on the brink of falling behind, or were your parents participating in a race that you had no business joining?

It is true children don’t know any better, but do they not know at all?

Adolescence

As you grow up, you slowly mature into an age where you look at the world in a different light. The concept of love and marriage, ones which you “ew-ed” at whenever you had the chance to, now doesn’t seem all that bad.

You look around and fall for the person you never thought you would. Not because they weren’t your type but because God forbids you to date someone of the same gender.

Now the world gets to decide whom you love too.

Adulthood

Congratulations, if you’ve made it so far, you succeeded… in conforming to society for the first few phases of your life. Welcome to the big leagues.

Here you shall be tested upon your mental sanity with bosses and deadlines.

But a hearty addition… (and this isn’t in the contract), your promotion might be based on the color of your skin or your sexual preference.

Silence

Let’s say you made it through adolescence and adulthood and are where you want to be. Sitting in your six-figure apartment with your two perfect children…

Greying and reminiscing, you ponder on your life and ask yourself…

Was it worth it?

You remember how differently each regretful moment could’ve turned out only if you spoke up.

But now, all you can do is drown yourself in silence. 

Will Bryan be able to embrace his relationship and avoid a life lived unfulfilled? Will he be able to come out to his mother about his relationship with a transgender woman?